Monday, July 12, 2010

Thousand Miles of Fire

Why did I decide to become a grownup a year early? Is moving down to California actually worth it? Is it why I constantly have the thought of pure terror on my mind every single minute? Hell I don't know and if I choose to think different I don't find myself sane anymore.

A little terror is good for some people but right now I think it could end my world. Kind of like falling off this square planet. ;o jk

I really want to get started on something big. That will make me big in some way. So much has happened this year to make me wonder what I really am supposed to do on this earth. I know I might be a bit emotional right now, but damnit I can't help it. Relaying my emotions over the internet is not the other way to do so.

I feel like I have to tarnish every single relationship I have in Washington so that when I leave it won't hurt as much as it does right now. I haven't felt close to anyone is so long that... I don't know. Where do I go with that line. Away on a hot air balloon to where no one will hear me scream them. I have lost friends and gained them as well. To what I do with them now I dont know.

I don't want to lose anyone anymore and yet that seems like it will be the first to happen.

Do I really want to make this move?